A Shift of Focus

Focus on the waves, not the sandcastle

Last week I watched a bit of the Victorians on TV, as the guys in the barn next to us had built the whole slum, from wood. There was such huge poverty, starvation and people feeling helpless. Then something stuck in my mind.

For change to occur, people had to know and understand. This happened by a photographer taking pictures of the starving children, which drew attention to the situation. This brought about reform.

Reform made me think of sandcastles. Change can be hard work, and even more stressful than the present situation. Instead, if we think about reform, it seems easier.

The tide comes in, and however much we want to hang on to our beautiful sandcastles, they are swept away by the waves. It feels like we have lost something, but in actual fact, we can re-form the sand when the tide goes out later. It is an opportunity to reform.

In our lives, we sometimes feel that the waves are sweeping away our very selves. It seems exhausting and stressful to hang on, to think about creating the same all over again. But we are not the castle – that is just something we adults have created in the past, from career, study, friends, family, home, childhood. The essence of us remains, to re-form.

Kids like being waves! I have met a few at NatureKids who were doing good tsunamis when I first met them. Yet the bigger the waves they created, the more they enriched my life, so long as I enjoyed letting go of my little sandcastles and helped them to create theirs. I am amazed almost daily by who they are when they can be their true selves.

Once the children begin to express themselves, they all tell me they want ‘re-form’. We can start to know and understand what is going on for them, and help to bring this about.

So there is a choice to hang on to the sandcastle, or enjoy the waves, or to welcome the tide by digging a hole for it to flow into.

Nikola can’t settle to his homework. It’s his present tsunami! He had many years when teachers didn’t know and understand what was going on for him, despite his problems with vision, so he hasn’t the tools to manage homework yet. If we seek to know and understand exactly why he can’t manage, then he and Darija can enjoy the waves, or dig a hole, rather than try to re-build exactly the same sandcastle as everyone else.

This change focus of focus from the sandcastle to the waves, from the problem to what is actually happening in Nikola’s brain, will bring about the solution.


Supporting parents to help their kids thrive in our world today

Supporting parents to help their kids thrive in our world today

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